Kiss
Puke
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
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worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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