If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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