my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize