so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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