Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
