sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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