i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
