is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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