Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
