then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
