Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize