exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Randomize
