One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
