Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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