you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
