when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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