I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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