I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
