I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
