Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
