i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
