But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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