Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
