There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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