love makes seman taste better
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
