Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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