i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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