My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
