So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
