that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
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My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
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This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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