He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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