on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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