You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
