yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
