Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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