your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
