I want to stick my p in your. b.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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