Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
...so i touched it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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