The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
