Dual....:-)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
