Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
