Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
