If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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