I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
