yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
