Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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