i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
