you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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