And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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