No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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