What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
