found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
