Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
where am i from again
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
