He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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