He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
