For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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