The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
