We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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