So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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