She's like a pop up book from hell.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
