You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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