Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
