So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I met the friendliest cop last night
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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