We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize