I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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