I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
