How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
