Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
