Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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